During my formative years, it was easy to be ignorant about the issues in our society. It was easy to enjoy life, go to school, get drunk, break rules and have fun – not really giving a fuck about everything going around me. It was fun, carefree. Ignorance is bliss.
Those days are over. I am now at the point in my life where societal/environmental/political issues affect my decisions. It happens in every aspect in my life. When I shop for food, I check calories, I do my computations, realize that I don’t have the same metabolism that I had when I was younger, and force myself to return that 24oz of Nutella.
I start researching different people for public office. I realize that I am just one of the robotic employee of a multi million company. I have to pay my bills. I realize I can’t ask money from my mom or dad anymore. I realized that I actually have to be civil and talk out my problems with people – realizing I can’t throw a tantrum like I did when I was a child to get my way. Kids screaming at church make me traumatized at having a child, yet wish every day that I were back at that same age. I realized that my family isn’t as perfect as I thought it would be. When stress becomes a daily part of my life. You get the picture.
I remember, back when I was 9 and grounded, how I so wished that I was older, that I had freedom and make my own decisions, that I could finally drive my own car and stay out late. Now that I’m 28 – I randomly forget how old I am, wished year 2000 was still “10 years ago”, constantly thinking about my finances and still listen to my Spice Girls. Jig-ah-jig-ahhh!
Yet, for some reason, I still find my Saturday cartoons hilarious, enjoy my alone time. I find myself still laughing at random people in my head. I still enjoy my cereal with milk. I still love playing at the swing (even though my butt could barely fit, when did it ever get so small?) and I still enjoy dancing in the rain.
It’s hard having a heart in this world because of all the evil you see every day. It’s hard to care… to love. But isn’t it like just what they said? Where is good when there is no evil? Where is the reward when there is no hard work? Where is the love when there is no hate? And there goes life..
Just for rebellious purposes and because I can’t eat this right now, here is a video of how to make Nutella brownies. I’ve learned that it makes people happy.